Journaling About Time
I think Time is an enemy of mine
Yesterday was 2 months ago A year is more like 3 I can never find the hands of time to hold So I stumble and fall through the cracks Hours feel like seconds A month feels like a week I'm ripping through space and can't stop Time is something I lack
Dawn and I recently talked about the state fair and how we haven't been in years. Somehow, this led to my realization that the last time I went was when my parents were still married and at least 3 of my grandparents were still alive. The last fact is a little fuzzy.
We joked but also held our breaths.
A profound amount of change has happened since I was there. My youngest sibling might not have been born; if they were, they weren't even a year old and it wasn't long before pivotal changes would begin for me.
I laughed, a small pain in my chest: “I didn't know loss or pain back then” another way to say “the world hadn't been cruel to me yet.”
Time is something that makes me too aware.
What year is it?
It's almost November?
What¿?
I'm 25??
I've known Celestite for twelve years??
I graduated college w h e N???One last pessimistic note, to quote “Loser” by Beck:
And my time is a piece of wax falling on a termite
That's choking on the splinters
On the other hand, progress is sweet. There's a sense of accomplishment and it's reassuring seeing how I've grown. Time is valuable and precious, and I’m grateful for all the time I can fill with memories and beautiful moments.
Time and I are at odds, but I can’t wait to see what it brings me.